Before we start I am assuming that you have a medium understanding of programming concepts and a basic to medium understanding of PHP. I am also assuming that you have read my articles JV's Power Tips for PHP (1) and PHP and Databases for the Lazy Sod.
If people insist on not reading the other two, then I better say that my articles tend to be stream of consciousness. They show how to do the same thing a few different ways, each time 'attempting' to be more elegant than the last (but perhaps not as understandable). I also have some stuff to say about Turkeys, but that will have to wait for the next article or possibly the one after that.